new! improved!

Melania's cheekbones don't seem to fit
where they've been grafted on Kellyanne's face.
Her surgeon's working on some scary shit
transplanting features wholly out of place.
He thinks himself the Chosen One of God,
a new Picasso for the latter days
disdainful that you'd call his artwork "odd"
as Kellyanne embarks her cubist phase.
Next month, a shorter nose, a fuller lip...
a laundry list of things to dart and tuck
kaleidoscopic visage--acid trip!
But under the facade, the brains still suck.
Titanium implants? Or carbon mesh?
What lies beneath her painted, undead flesh?

non-elective

Melania had plastic surgery
but nothing could obscure that ugly lump.
Our Senate's gonna have to cut us free,
resecting the malignancy that's Trump.
For years, her arm's disfigured by this mass
that lately, starts to suppurate and swell.
By now, the wound's discolored, taut with gas;
she's doomed to surgery, if not to Hell.
Trump shits on foreigners, but his own wife
still condescends to take him to her bed.
She may be saved, but it will take a knife
now this carbuncle's ripened to a head.
Her gross infirmity can't be disguised
she wed the thing that needs to be excised.

body politic

Melania had plastic surgery
but nothing could disguise that ugly lump.
Our Senate's gonna have to cut us free,
resecting the malignancy that's Trump.
For years, her arm's disfigured by this mass
that lately, starts to suppurate and swell.
By now, the wound's discolored, taut with gas;
she's doomed to surgery, if not to Hell.
Trump shits on foreigners, but his own wife
still condescends to take him to her bed.
She may be saved, but it will take a knife
now this carbuncle's ripened to a head.
Until his third divorce, she owns this thing
to whom she's just another bit of bling

will you do the Fandango? III

The strategist who failed the RNC

still weaseled a position under Trump.
But his ideas were scorned as comedy;
Sean took the fall as Bannon's hapless chump.
Behind the throne, he thought he'd guide Trump's reign
but time and time again, he screwed the pooch.
The pattern of mendacity's the same,
but now, we're getting it from Scaramouche!
This little man with shiny lacquered hair
projects an outsized image on TV.
And Donald saw, 'though there's no substance there,
the perfect dummy made for Bannon's knee.
The cast's on stage to ring Trump's curtain down;
that tiny car's disgorged the final clown.

suckers

Al Franken, for the Senate's awfully short
his colleagues look like they played basketball
then ran when they'd retired from off the court
Americans think leaders must be tall
for merit, height's a lousy surrogate
but anyone's assessment will agree
majorities place the same stupid bet
electing not a leader, but a tree
if Madison were running nowadays
he'd get scant chance to awe us with his wit
the legal reasoning can still amaze
but he'd be shouted down by some tall twit
the Europeans pray we'll grow some sense
in sorting confidence from competence

image management

that big red arrow pointing toward the Right
warned Liberals that Clinton's Ship of State
would list to starboards when the winds are light
and capsize if she would triangulate
"I am Progressive" she's been heard to bleat
strange sentiment to hear from WallMart's board
it gets a laugh from donors on WallStreet
she's "Liberal" like the late Henry Ford
Trump's presidential bid gave hers a boost
and Bernie gave his dutiful embrace
but Debbie's taint is coming home to roost
disgusting voters with the whole damned race
Tim Caine's design team bid her hacks adieu
November's logo's chastely tinted blue

O wad some pow'r the giftie gie us

Trump's blindspot could eclipse a universe
that bad comb-over's boyish in his eyes
and posing next to Christie (who looks worse)
it's easy to believe self-serving lies
most guys dwell on the candy on his arm
to comment on  his mop might give offense
the haystack that looks fine down on the farm
looks weirdly plastic next to old Mike Pence
but Donald's deaf to those who'd give advice
what's negative's lost in a verbal haze
he knows they meant to say that he looks nice
the only sounds that penetrate are praise
denial guards his ego from the world
next season, he'll import another girl

paper tiger

artisanal TP will fool some folk
who'll buy whatever Rush says is the rage
but Berners know that ticket is a joke
no better than an old Sears-Roebuck page
the orange clown sells a mirage of class
to angry Whites of woeful self-esteem
who don't know even how to wipe their ass
but roar approval of their fav'rite team
a demagogue who fronts for the elite
won't even give the little people thanks
relieves himself in public on Main Street
and never blush to blame it on the banks
the poorly-educated who've got sense
won't waste a paper ballot on Trump-Pence

shallow

since Washington, we like our leaders tall
as if they'd hand down wisdom from on high
confusing politics with basketball
too often we elect the taller guy
out pageants don't revolve on Peace and War
nor on the proper powers of the State
we don't debate what revenue is for
but trust each smiling charmer with our fate
when pointing out a lie is deemed uncouth
the public cheers for teams, not policies
our "journalists" rate balance above Truth
and let a candidate score points on sleaze
until our grassroots learn to organize
elites co-opt our parties with their lies

unfounded

Trump's role in NAMBLA's yet to be explained
and whether his donations should be taxed
the fees he paid, the favors he obtained
we can't move forward 'til we get the facts
those people are the worst! and should be marked
the voting public needs to understand
what public figures pay for in the dark
and why he's always washing his wee hands
iniquity's just gross and must be stopped
a leader can't be sitting on the fence
the Orange One insists that he's on top
but who's the bottom when it's not Mike Pence?
when innuendo's driving whom one picks
we're hitting bottom in our politics

eye of the beholder

Trump's logo failed at the desired effects
provoking nervous laughter from the crowd
two characters in penetrative sex
but no one told the Donald that aloud
he's never one to listen to advice
his cohorts swear his brain-farts all smell great
and he's convinced the coiffure's awfully nice
that fails to shield us from his butt-pink pate
Mike Pence won't over-shadow his new boss
big donors find him easier to back
if they should clash, it's not much of a loss
the media see profit in attacks
his ad-men played their joke on the buffoon
in one ambiguous campaign cartoon

eye of the beholder

Trump's logo failed at the desired effects
provoking nervous laughter from the crowd
two characters in penetrative sex
but no one told the Donald that aloud
he's never one to listen to advice
his cohorts swear his brain-farts all smell great
and he's convinced the coiffure's awfully nice
that fails to shield us from his butt-pink pate
Mike Pence won't over-shadow his new boss
big donors find him easier to back
if they should clash, it's not much of a loss
the media see profit in attacks
his ad-men played their joke on the buffoon
in one ambiguous campaign cartoon

marketing

TransRectal UltraSound makes voters cringe
its acronym repels both Blue and Red
a candidate from way beyond the fringe
went with a logo that links TRUS with TED
"tin ear"'s too faint a term for such a gaffe
from a campaign aspiring to our trust
at best,  evokes uncomfortable laughs
more likely, it forebodes his bid's a bust
who chose the senator's inapt design
were they sincerely working for the creep
 it's totally ok for one to whine
the image strikes uncomfortably deep 
 Joe Voter would be wise to take a pass
on candidates so keen on up-the-ass      

shallow

when Marco Rubio steps out in heels
he begs for what his dumbest rivals get
unless you're short you can't know how it feels
to be the guy the cute girls all forget
Americans swoon for a guy who's tall
and never reckon he might be a fool
then slam the media if he should fall
like shoddy workmen quick to blame their tool
there's no one in the GOP ClownCar
of stature fit to be our president
and even if we set a lower bar
this can't be what our Founding Fathers meant
on merit, Bernie takes it by a mile
unless their judged on swimsuit, hair and smile