cherchez la femme

Fair Helen ran off with some pretty boy,
invoking Aphrodite as excuse.
The repercussions hit not her, but Troy;
breached hospitality offended Zeus.
Three goddesses believe the prize was theirs,
but hormone-addled Paris got to pick.
His nobler brother Hector tastes despair
because the little putz thinks with his dick.
Did Menelaos really earn his fame?
He's still remembered only 'cause she split;
it's as the cuckold that we know his name.
That shoe's forever his, because it fit.
Had Homer picked, Athena would have won.
But wisdom literature's not much fun.