vayera

God tested Avraham; those files are sealed;
We're free to speculate on the result.
For cities on the Plain, he'd wheel and deal
but for his own, won't protest, nor consult.
For Muslims, the prime virtue's to submit,
but Jews object where some consent, and nod.
This episode's the hardest one to fit
for one who'd been so intimate with God.
Poor Yitzhak bore the scars throughout his life
of trauma we can never understand.
A surrogate must chastely woo his wife
unbound, but still strait-bounded by the Land.
The sagest can feel lost without a guide
through texts with which we can't be satisfied

White smoke

The greenest Speaker in a hundred years
reliant on his masters for the rules
The sum of Founding Fathers' darkest fears
"The People's House" entrusted to such tools.
"Young Earth Creationism " might make sense
to one as stupid as the MAGA mob.
Mike Johnson led the chants to "hang Mike Pence"
Exquisitely ill-suited to the job.
This Putin fanboy, hostile to Ukraine
would cut our allies off without a thought.
Without the prospect of some private gain
he's only "honest" in that he "stays bought".
If Bannon's hyper-partisans have won,
be certain nothing useful"s getting done.

scary clowns

Republicans can't govern their own ranks
and don't deliver on the deals they've made.
Now, Democrats look better to big banks
expecting service from the whores they've paid.
Pelosi's Congress got our business done;
her caucus salivated to her bell.
While Gingrich might believe this clown-show's fun,
'Dysfunction!' as a brand's a bitch to sell.
Hakeem looks statesmen-like with outstretched hand,
exceptional, where all we hear is guile.
But still, this GOP can't name a man
secure enough to reach across the aisle.
Our Founding Fathers fighting for self-rule,
had no idea we'd elevate such fools.

Gym Jordan

Gym Jordan masqueraded as adult
to go unchallenged in the Rally's noise.
High-placed lieutenant in the MAGA cult
was only in it for the Nazi boys
The tiki torches! And the leather pants!
Like wrestlers' singlets got some Old World flair.
He'd "Coach" the lot of 'em, to strut and prance
like Hitlerjuengen at the Munich faire.
Behind closed doors, his caucus has its doubts
he lacks a presidential sheen and tone.
They won't explore what rumors are about,

but some of them have grandsons of their own.
Like Hastert rotting in his furnished cell
one more Republican books space in Hell.

"I'm not affiliated with any organized political party"

The gavel slipped through Jordan's spit-slick fist
despite his threats, and posturing, and noise.
His kind of politician won't be missed
by colleagues, staffers, nor by college boys.
Pelosi wielded power with more grace,
despite a margin every but as fine.
No flying monkeys spitting in one's face;
the party check-book kept her troops in line.
Republicans can't guess who'll step up next;
their donors need a photogenic tool 
without the taint of surreptitious sex.
They're more agnostic on the "Hastert rule".
"A house divided" Lincoln warned "can't stand"
but no one in this circus has a plan.

A House Divided

A nation's business isn't getting done
as Jordan holds his party by the throat.
It's fair to say a Democrat has won;
Hakeem took the plurality of votes.
Jim Jordan seems unint'rested what's fair;
Compulsively, he doubled down his bets.
Support for his quixotic bid ain't there;
he's tallied everyone who'll bend to threats.
Big donors have no faith Jim'd do their work
they need a tool who'll "win through compromise".
"The people's house", held hostage by this jerk
needs leadership that won't just terrorize.
Like Haman, fifty cubits off the ground,
Republicans string up their fallen clowns.

tissue of lies

"concealing assets" Giuliani's warned
"could be felonious" she emphasized.
Instructions from the bench are thick with scorn;
her honor's had her fill--and more--of lies.
Trump's never one to keep one set of books
his valuations rise and fall at whim.
An enterprise of flim-flam men, and crooks
whose factual mistakes all favor him.
Trump's legal team keep lawyers of their own
The system groans, o'erburdened with delay.
Each trusting he'll get blood out of a stone
A fool could see; they're never getting paid.
A former prosecutor, turned to crime
with no cards left, can only play for time.

Where there are no cops

The Germans wagered Russia would behave,
as long as revenue flowed from the West.
Comparative Advantage, gained through Trade;
Enlightened actors striving towards the'best'.
But Putin harbors atavistic traits;
He thirsts for glory, like some Czar of old,
as if he'll be a new Kath'rine the Great.
A legacy of conquests, not just gold.
James Madison'd self-fooled this way before;
The need for troops is only slowly learned.
Embarrassing to find ourselves at war
and Washington DC so rudely burned.
Kant's "Endless Peace" won't get here on its own
'til each concedes we're none of us alone.

Pellenor

The breaking dawn lights silver tree on black
that lady Arwen'd wrought in mithril thread.
Lord Aragorn, with legions at his back
rides into battle, 'though his army's dead.
As Theoden gave up his final breath,
king Eomer sweeps up the pennon green.
Rohirrim roared in unison for ''Death!"
Their blood is high, their lances long, and keen.
The final die's cast at the Crack of Doom
by Gollum in his deathgrip on the Ring.
But such maneuvers need the sort of room
that's only purchased with the deaths of kings.
Great warriors and small, show each their worth
in Tolkien's epic tales of MiddleEarth.

Gingrich's legacy

Republicans, in utter disarray,
can't run the House they paid so much to buy.
McCarthy's out, and means to stay away;
sedition's caucus needs another guy.
Gym Jordan never fucked those boys--he claims
nor covered up the dozen counts of rape.
But we remember Hastert said the same
despite the evidence preserved on tape.
The Kremlin wagered no one would defend
Ukrainians against the Russian blitz.
Big bags of rubles spent to buy a friend
had aimed at more, but only got these six.
As moribund as Whigs at Lincoln's peak
the GOP can't find a tool to Speak.

leadership

McCarthy's out; he doesn't want the job
and who comes next, the wisest can't descry.
Abe Lincoln's party's crumbled to a mob,
intent on bringing down whoever's high.
Newt Gingrich loves a circus; this is fun!
Paralysis had always been his plan.
The nation's business isn't getting done,
as coalitions melt like wave-swept sand.
Bill Clinton's re-election should have shown
Obstruction's party's apt to take the hit.
Sham crises are on them, and them alone
and voters have lost patience with their shit.
While Trump's at large, Republicans can't win,
but no one's got the balls to rein him in.

the IT guy

He tantalized Jack Smith with just the tip,
but Trumpty got it roughly to the hilt.
Rewards diminish for the last to flip;
Taveras won't partake in Donald's guilt.
'Though testimony's sometimes been suborned
Surveillance tapes are rarely misconstrued.
Destroying evidence is Donald's norm;
this time, historians agree, he's screwed.
Too often, politics are played as sport;
Americans root blindly for "their team".
But revelations day by day in court
show Lincoln's party tearing at the seam.
Roy Cohn groomed Donnie twelve ways to obstruct.
But now Roy's dead; his protégé is fucked.

Big head, little. head

 Old Priam didn't need another son;
his fiftieth was sent to tend the flocks.
While Hector learned how City States get run,
young Paris strained to sort his sheep from rocks.
A wiser man'd have dodged when trouble loomed
Three goddesses, each known to nurse a grudge!
But Paris chose, and sealed his city's doom.
The preening imbecile liked playing judge.
What Helen saw in him, it's hard to say
she'd chosen Menelaus, long before.
but Aphrodite'd snatched her wits away
committing the Aegean world to war.
Heroic epic sings the fall of Troy
but edits out the hormone-addled boy.