Republicans, in utter disarray,
can't run the House they paid so much to buy.
McCarthy's out, and means to stay away;
sedition's caucus needs another guy.
Gym Jordan never fucked those boys--he claims
nor covered up the dozen counts of rape.
But we remember Hastert said the same
despite the evidence preserved on tape.
The Kremlin wagered no one would defend
Ukrainians against the Russian blitz.
Big bags of rubles spent to buy a friend
had aimed at more, but only got these six.
As moribund as Whigs at Lincoln's peak
the GOP can't find a tool to Speak.
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