brotherhood of hate

"close ranks!" Jeb bleats "we've got to back Ted Cruz!"
if Trump is not to hold us by the throat
that orange ape could find a way to lose
to Hillary if put to a fair vote
contested Senate seats could fall away
and Mitch could lose the chair he holds so dear
when states we thought were "safe" go back in play
if our slate's headed by this derriere
the lesser of two evils must be Ted
who's deferential to our donor class
to make this realtor our party's head
would be to show our over-lords our ass
he's not so bad (if you ignore his lies)
at least we all agree whom we despise   

unloved

Jeb had hoped someone loves him second-best
and so he doggedly pursued the race
although he's overshadowed by the rest
he liked his chances in a face-to-face
his elder brother made the bigger splash
with womanizing, fighter-jets and coke
while Jeb would never do something so rash
he's widely viewed as  something of a joke
the party bosses have begun to fret
as each contender comes up lame and stops
if Rubio's the horse on whom to bet
the Democrats are coming out on top
no knight in armor's gonna bail them out
the stars align for Sanders in a rout

clowning

as Jeb pulls out, Santorum spreads a stain
on all the clowns packed in that tiny car
it's still contentious who's in line to gain
intellectually, they're all sub-par
next to that putz, a zombie would look good
but Bernie brings an independent zeal
this Fall's election's a tough neighborhood
where voters want less "snarky" and more "real"
'though gerrymandering will hold the House
contested Senate seats are poised to flip
this elephant's as fearsome as a mouse
the party nation-wide has lost its grip
by any standard that we've ever had
this GOP convention's pretty sad

bad and worse

Jeb slings his war-chest 'round to make a splash
but Iowans are not looking impressed
although he makes it rain with donors' cash
he's not the candidate they rate the best
instead, they cheer for the Canadian
although his documents are kinda odd
he's got no friends besides his dog and gun
but claims he'll lead our nation back to God
the GOP dissolves in disarray
they hate the Congress and Obama more
determined to let bankers have their way
and Devil take the bulk of working poor
the rolls shrink for Republicans as such
'cause no one likes these options very much